Your Failing Resolution

It’s a brand new year, and for you, well- you believe this year is going to be different.  You’ve set goals and you’re determined to reach them.  You spent December carefully mapping out why THIS YEAR is going to be the year you accomplish all those things you’ve been putting off.

The ball drops in Times Square, you celebrate, and think that magically, you’ll wake up a different person.

But you’re not.

You’re still the same “You” you were 8 hours ago.  Nothing has changed with the exception of some arbitrary number that someone decided would mark the passage of time.  It’s not about the date.  Hell, it’s not even about the day.  It’s about something else entirely.

“Resolution” is defined as a firm decision to do or not do something; the quality of being determined or resolute; and/or the action of solving a problem or contentious matter.

The English root of “resolution” is resolve. The word – resolve… it’s exceptionally masculine, isn’t it?  It boasts of determination, blood, sweat, and tears.  It is willpower and grit.  It means giving no quarter and no surrender.

For a while, it’s easy to muscle through a deadline or force yourself to run.  It’s easy to starve yourself and cheerlead your way into action.  But eventually, you run out of steam.  And that’s okay. Willpower isn’t supposed to be an everlasting action.  It’s the kindling to start a fire, not the ember glowing deep red after the flames have burned bright.

The actual origin of the word resolve is the Latin “resolvere,” which means to loosen and release.

Loosen and Release.

These words have nothing to do with grit. Grit is why we do not stick to our resolutions. 

The meaning of resolvere is quite feminine.  Instead of muscling through, it’s letting go.  Instead of running up flights of stairs to “Eye of the Tiger,” pumping your fists in the air, it’s sitting quietly with the intention of hearing what your inner voice is telling you.

It is the very act of Surrender.

It’s having the courage to surrender to the fear of losing your current projections of yourself.

Fear keeps you locked in the safety of your smallness. You must let go of this false feeling of ‘safe,’ and surrender to the greatness of yourself.  Like a young bird, you must trust the wings nature has provided to fly out of the safety of your nest.

Surrender to your magnificence and soar.