I have a wonderful friend, “H,” that is about to give birth to her third child. H has large, green eyes and a smile that never fades. She’s got patience in abundance and a love that radiates from her for miles. It’s easy to see her in all of her glory, for she shines brightly within herself. She’s also got this amazing relationship with God, homeschools her two girls, has a sweet, tiny dog that likes to dance in circles, and is married to a man with more drive than anyone I’ve ever met.
She and her family are amazing humans.
I mention her relationship with God because my family is quite the opposite. My husband dabbles with the notion that there is something bigger than us. My daughter is still wondering at the mystery of life, and what path calls her home.
I’d call myself “Hopefully Spiritual.” God and I used to be pretty good buds, but He and I mutually separated a long time ago. However, this has not stopped me from being blessed by coming in contact with many amazing persons – to include my very best friend “Bird” – who also happens to have a deep-seeded relationship with The Big Man.
What’s wonderful is, the fact that I am not a “God Person” has not stopped H and me from becoming very close. Close enough for me to get an invite to her Baby shower. And close enough for her to know that the very thought of being in a small room with many women ranks right up there with me experiencing Chinese Water Torture.
I’ll caveat by saying it’s not the women – it’s me. I am a Highly Sensitive Person with the added bonus of noise sensitivity. And let’s face it ladies, if enough of us get together, our emotions run high and we tend to sound like a mad chicken coop. I know at times I am a part of the chicken coop, but I’m very picky as to whom I’ll lay my eggs next to.
The night of H’s baby shower, H made sure I was okay before we entered, giving me the out to leave whenever I felt the need. I lovingly dismissed her by letting her know nothing could keep me away from being a part of her special night. I psyched myself up, and braced myself for an assumption of what was to come.
As we entered H’s friends’ home, I was introduced to a very handsome woman with voice like smoky silk. She looked like she’d just walked her beautiful self right out of an L.L. Bean catalog. Her skin was aglow with health. She had no makeup on. She was barefoot. She had on jeans and a soft, navy blue sweater. A plaid scarf was around her neck, clasped together with a Japanese pin. Her hair was up in a kind of haphazard ponytail.
I fell in love with her right there.
No – not a romantic love. But the kind of love you fall into when you see something that you’ve long coveted. You see, she’s the woman I’d always wanted to be. Sure of herself, healthy, glowing, calm, centered. I wanted to crawl in her skin and just hang out for a bit. I wanted to see what it was like to exude the air and mountains of Colorado through my very being. And that’s definitely who she was: Miss Colorado.
I immediately felt a sigh of relief course through my body. Why I’d expected H’s friends to be anything short of miraculous was beyond me. H is, after all, the embodiment of miraculous.
The shower began and the living room filled with a colorful array of many women. I found myself a corner – as is the safety spot for a gal like me – and began to observe the colors and sounds that creep out in the emotions of others. There was something I hadn’t thought about before entering the threshold of Miss Colorado… all of H’s friends were “church goers.”
I suddenly felt a wash of embarrassment flood over me. You see, who I am is easily understood and accepted by H. I can be completely myself; laughing my loud laugh, dropping f-bombs like – well – like bombs, and making inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times. But I didn’t think these God-loving, clean women would appreciate my sense of humor. Up came my proverbial wall, and on went the self-induced censor.
Stuck in my corner observation booth, something was occurring I hadn’t anticipated. Within myself I recognized that instead of feeling agitated or on high-alert, I felt very much at ease. It was as if a songful breeze filled the air, instead of the cackle of hens. The usual emotional colors of obnoxious pinks and fiery reds I’d long associated with women was not present. These women held colors of ocean blues and greens, peaking through with occasional creams and powdery lavenders.
I began to realize that all these uniquely beautiful women had something very similar about them. While they all had their own fashion and were of different ages, they all had different hair colors and different skin tones, and they were all as different as the stained glass pieces that make up a church window, there was an element they all embodied with regal certainty:
They held within them the overarching air of Grace.
Grace was pouring from their skin and streaming from their hearts. I could feel it permeating the curtains and dripping down the walls. I was enthralled by their ease, and their general demeanor of lightness. You could see that within them all, they were filled with a greater purpose. There was no gossip, there was no envy, and there was no comparison. They were present in the moment, taking delight in the existence of each other, with no agenda other than spreading their Grace to H, our mutually dear friend.
I relaxed and surrendered to the moment completely. I thought of how much Bird would’ve loved to have been a part of the evening. Just as H embodies the miraculous, Bird embodies Grace. I called her to my heart and tried to send the feeling her way. I sent a silent “thank you” to H, and hoped that in the midst of all the love, she was feeling mine.
By the end of the evening, I was overcome with joy and gratitude to have been witness to such a thing. It seemed even more exceptional given our world’s current state of affairs. And even though I stayed in my corner, protective of my emotions and my ears, I was able to observe, and be briefly incorporated into, something that this world is currently in desperate need of. For two brief hours, I was privy to the unexpected treasure of brilliantly kind people, living in the present moment, undulating with ocean-colored human elegance.